“No, not yet” – your favorite words, so no one ever.

Two years ago this holiday season I had just moved out of my parents house. I had wanted to move several months earlier, but the Lord’s “no, not yet” was clear to me, nothing had come together, and that’s often a no enough. So, there I was, starting a new job, and moving in with two good friends in the heart of Wauwatosa all in two weeks time. I remember in that season wanting so badly to be married, and in that season, being angry at God. It took some months for me to “come to the end of myself” and become quite OK with whatever it was God wanted to do. I remember thanking God for contentedness EVEN if I were to never become married (thinking that singleness made me alone/weak, was a lie I had started to believe).

In those two years some incredible things have happened. As soon as I consciously (this was an effort) became content with God’s plan, whatever that were to be, life became much more peaceful – and contentedness came with it. I now live just several blocks down the road from where I was, and where I so doubted God and His timing. Wouldn’t you know, I am [happily – very very happily] married to my best friend, and learning that this trust is ongoing. For all and every season – not just the ones that are staring you in the face just this moment.

In waiting, God is good. In perseverance, God is good. In staying steadfast in Him, God is good. Our contentedness comes in knowing Him, and trusting He’s going to figure out what we cannot (regardless of how we “feel”). He has the best in mind for us, even if it’s not what we would have chosen for ourselves. The bible says the “joy of the Lord is our strength”, not “the happiness of the Lord is our strength”.Happiness is an emotion, like anger or sadness, that is fleeting!

Choose JOY in your season!!

Oh the places you’ll go!

Oh the places you’ll go!!!!

I began nannying just shy of my 18th birthday, and little did I know I would be with that same family (three and then soon to be four little Irish lads under my care) for seven years. During most of those years I worked part time as I either was in school or working part time at the local Marriott hotel (job obtained through a school internship). They also gave me freedom to travel some, in which I spent 6 glorious months in Australia as an au pair (nanny), to soon return again to work for them (more on that another time).

In those nannying years, I got to spend time acting as mother, friend, nanny, disciplinary and watchful eye to four of the most lovely little people I am ever sure to meet. I am quite convinced they taught me more than any other job to date, and most importantly they taught me how to care for people and even then too, myself. I called them my “little men” as that is truly what they were – little men in training. Their parents are some of the most wonderful people you would ever care to meet and made working with them feel like partnership – like family. Their children grasped this rather soon, and knew that if I said no to extra cookies, asking their mother in the next room wouldn’t change things. This partnership in the “workplace” was extraordinary and valued. It kept me there for such a length of time and allowed me to find it hard to let them grow! But grow they did.

I recall reading to the youngest ones the Dr. Seuss book “Oh the places you’ll go!” and often getting teary eyed while reading it thinking of both their little lives and mine (how selfish, huh?). I felt so young then, and often wondered… “where will I go?!” I loved reading the book whether before naptime or after supper but it often left this feeling of accountability with me – whereas I’m sure the youngsters thought it was a neat book with catch rhymes I often took the books title/statement too much to heart and would feel doubtful. It even left me melancholy sometimes, as I knew not the answer to the books undertone question “where will I go?!”

Now, here I am. 10 years later and I still catch glimpses of that 17 yr. old self. I have matured plenty and will celebrate my 28th birthday next month – still often reminded of my nannying days and what those four little lads taught me that no ordinary job ever would. Little sticky fingers grabbing my face so that I looked them in the eye when they asked a question. Dirty grass stained knees rolling around on white carpet and fingers touching dinner, noses and reaching for my hand all in just moments. Sure, these days often seemed long – but the years flew. I am not a mother (yet), but feel as if I had mothered and learned much from this lovely family.

Oh the places you’ll go is a wonderful book, and it’s a book I encourage be read to every young and old listener, as it helps us to dream and challenge ourselves, thinking “what’s next?!” If I were to choose it’s sequel I would title it “Oh the places you’ll keep on going”… as I have come to find out that regardless of generation, age, season of life or family ancestry – we will keep on going. Our job, career, prefix to our name or what is held in our bank account will keep on fluctuating, changing, and rendering the way for something new. Even if it’s as simple as a new mindset. Oh the places that we will keep on going! Arriving has always been far too overrated anyway.

WAIT

I have come to be particularly sensitive of time. Sometimes, even overly so. For with the days that seem to take their time, and the years that seem to sometimes take only a moment, I have realized the grit I have come to possess. Not an ugly grit, one that comes with a bad attitude, or a defensive argument, but rather the kind that seems to make me a “heartier person”, or so I like to think.

In being sensitive to time, I am fully aware of almost too many details – how early or late am I? Do I have enough time to get this seemingly ginormous list of things done? Should I add more to my list? Did I give away to many “yes’s” of commitment? Then, all to swiftly in my thoughtful haste, there is a WAIT.

The caps lock word sounds like a shout, doesn’t it? In this case, I like to think that it is.

I remember when I was 15 and my mom would drop me off at the mall with a friend, giving me a $10 bill, and thirty five cents. The bill would be for lunch and a movie, and the thirty five cents would be for the pay phone – I could call her when I was ready to get picked up. Now, I am reachable always – via e-mail, text message, phone call – you can even “check me in” somewhere if you like. Perhaps because I recall what it was like before, I am ever sensitive of time. So much so, that I have to remind myself to detach and be aware of my state of being. Hurrying along isn’t in my nature, but with the coming of time, I have found that my mind is… so why shouldn’t my actions follow?

“Be still and know that I am God”

I have acquired a taste for stillness – – because with it comes an eventual calm. Perhaps I (or we) fail to pause long enough to know what God is speaking to us.

I really would prefer the thirty five cents most days to my smart phone. But alas.

Waking a while early before I have to leave for work gives me time to get going, as I’ve mentioned before. Well, this morning was quite different, for as I went about my morning, I could not stop praising. Bits and pieces of cornerstone Bible versus came to me; “they that wait upon the Lord”… “Be still and know that I am God”… “I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made”…”The peace of God will guard your heart and mind…” they were coming out of me so quickly. So majestic is our God. I didn’t wake up with a song in my heard (as I normally do) – but with the word. The actions I struggle with (wait, still, praise, peace) didn’t go unnoticed in the scriptural theme.

I have become more perseverent. I’ve grown another year older, become a little bit more gritter, and therefore too, a bit heartier. My anxious thoughts, and nervous “to do’s” are lining up to the word of God first. Did I realize this could happen? Perhaps not. I began to assume fear and anxiety were in my genes – it just ran in the family. But this morning, I suppose that the Lord wanted me to proclaim His promises (“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God”). I kid you not – these verses couldn’t stop coming. Do our lively days get exalted against the knowledge or will of God?

SO! With a bit of a shout I say to you (and to me too I suppose) – praise Him. Authority is ours, stillness is ours, and most importantly for me; peace, is ours.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus“

~Philippians 4:6-7

HAPPY AUTUMN to you and yours! :0)

Scriptures noted above found in: Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 46:10, Psalm 139:14, Philippians 4:7, 2 Cor. 10:5

Soul satisfied

I wake a good deal early before work – as I don’t perhaps consider myself the biggest “morning person”. Once I’ve showered, had a cup of coffee and eaten something – I’m much easier to get a long with. Furthermore, having a bit of time to “get going” makes for a much better day, or so I’ve found.

I usually put on some good hearty “soul” music to get going to – oh how this has changed my mornings! By soul music, I do not mean Brian McKnight or Luther Vandross (although these guys aren’t bad either!) The soul music I refer to is exactly that – music that stirs your soul and reminds you of who you are and where you come from. I’ve found that in growing up and filling my adult role in this life, I need this reminder daily. God is for me, my home is not here, and He will equip me to the work in which He has called me. How comforting this is.

Today I woke up with the lyrics of Laura Hackett’s song “You satisfy my soul” playing repeatedly in my head. I haven’t heard the song in a while, but sometimes I think God may put songs in our heads (the good ones at least), to remind us of promises He’s given or perhaps where our true identity is found. Don’t we deal with such identity crisis sometimes? (Am I- – kind, selfish, humble enough, too soft-spoken, demanding, lonely…)

The song isn’t very long – and I insist you take a listen. I will put the lyrics here. Perhaps too I can encourage you to read Psalm 63. I have found that on my “funk”/out of sort mornings, praising Him has delivered and freed me in so many ways. May your soul be satisfied this morning!

Laura Hackett: “You satisfy my soul”

You satisfy my soul
You satisfy my soul
You satisfy my soul
With Your love

​_

You make my heart sing
You lift me on eagles wings
Just when I thought that my heart it would faint
You take the darknest night and turn it to shining light
Just when I thought that the night had won

​_​

Hallelujah, You make all things beautiful
Hallelujah, trials and testing prove there’s gold
Hallelujah, You turn mourning into joy

Ma & Pop

I treasure relationships. I hold them dear and wrap my fingers tightly around the ones that matter. Through every stage of my life, I have too valued conversation. Since I was a little girl, I always wanted to sit at the “grown-up table” and listen to the then “old people” talk about life and all that went along with it.

Now, well into my twenties I find myself still gleaning off of those older than me. Now, it may seem I have a subconscious desire to feel younger, but rather I know for certain that people even just a bit older are often then too a bit [or a lot] wiser. They have been through the trenches of life and are “living to tell”. They make broken relationships, years of “surviving”, and unorganized life-chaos seem OK and survivable. They are survivors.  Their advice, often as simple as: “you’re gonna make it hun” is confident and sure.

I found a gem of a woman today while on my lunch break, whose mindset had got me to thinking all of this in the first place. Working in Milwaukee’s Third Ward it isn’t hard to find a good place to sit or a beautiful street to stroll. Catalano square is a tiny little park nestled amongst prosperous businesses and too the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design. With a fountain, a large patch of grass, and art students sprawled about, it’s a fun place to sit. “Ma & Pop” is a tiny old red popcorn carriage which sells pop-corn and soda throughout the business day in Catalano square. I’ve looked at the cute set-up dozens of times, but today bought my first bag of popcorn from “Ma & Pop”.

Carol, as I’ll name her, had to have been at least twice my age, with bright eyes and soft wrinkles showing off her full life. I asked a bit about the carriage, and she happily shared with me it’s history, and too the “Pop” that went home to heaven a few years back. Her eyes filled briefly, but her gladness with life was unmistakable. She made it. She was still making.

In the winter time she made soup for her kids, and in the summer, she got to sell her popcorn and see her “regulars”. She emphasized how glad she is to sit in the park and talk to all different sorts of people all day long. She pointed to one student who had her canvas on a stand and was painting something intricately, and knew her. Then too she knew the gentleman that came up to stand in line behind me. Our hearts and spirits don’t age (in passion and gumption for life I should add), and this made me feel so connected to someone quite a bit older than myself. How good it is to connect, remember, and encourage.

We should never become lazy in sharing our stories, or tiresome of cheer-leading someone else on. Sharpening one another is on going and good… and besides, what good is it to be dull anyway?

“You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another” ~Proverbs 27:17

Conglomerate

kuh n-glom-er-it

 

There is nothing quite like an early Friday morning in the beginning of summer in Milwaukee. The Third Ward is just coming to life and the temperature is a comfortable seventy degrees. The sun seems to know how to bounce around these buildings and show them off just right on mornings like these. You’ve got your hipsters, trendsetters, and custom suit-wearers from all different walks of life making their way to the workplace. Milwaukee’s Third Ward in more recent years has become the “place to be”, with its old cream city brick buildings, coffee lounges, and up and coming restaurants and businesses.

It’s quite marvelous and enchanting to a new-comer or “lifer”, to say the least. I’ve worked here for just over 6 months, and I still enjoy coming into work everyday and taking in the bustling activities. Miller Coors may have a local truck unloading barrels to “Wicked Hop” on the corner, or Anthropologie may be switching out their window design. Onesto, and Swig play nice as fellow restaurant sister companies, and always manage beautiful sidewalk signs showcasing their latest menu creations. It’s different, evolving, and constant. Much like any small town, suburb, or metropolis, there is a conglomerate of businesses coming together, and without each other wouldn’t be nearly as exciting.

 

In much the same way, seeing all of the busyness and interweaving of fellow companies got me to realizing just how dependent and needy we are of one another. Each role, on each street, in each town surely is reflected and reliant on the work of another. Whether you are washing the windows of my third floor office, or strategizing your next multi-million dollar business purchase- we are not providers for just our self. 

 

Our spiritual life must come to work quite the same way. I think in a funny sort of way, our friendships and relationships undergo change and transformation and should always bounce light on another. Our work selflessly reflecting the work of someone else after-all is being kind and loving in a large aspect, isn’t it? I think for those in their Christian walk, whatever type of role you’re in (in life, in the workplace, in a relationship), it is imperative to know God in such a way so as to so easily reflect the beauty and life of another human being. Jesus walked the earth doing this, and it changed lives. He loved them! He called out their truths (flawed or not), and loved them. Their sin dissipated and was no longer the focal point.

 

In the goings of your day, be a small part in a large way. Let the streets where you work, the households you build, and the relationships you pour into be full of light that so easily bounces and reflects love and truth in another. Live filled! 

H

I’ll be praying for you… sort of…

It is often with disdain I realize our everyday greetings and “hello’s” become so automatic, rehearsed, and surface. Is it wrong? Of course not! If I were to have a hearty conversation with everyone who walked through the office, and got them to open up about how they were really doing, I’m not sure we’d every get any work done (Oh how I love long therapeutic conversations!). Yet lately, I am ever more aware of how automatic and scripted some of our correspondence has become. In some such cases, people walk by so quickly and their “Hi, how are you”, is indeed their “hello”, and they don’t even wait for a “I’m good thanks, you?”. For a while there, I attempted to say it so very quickly in response, whereas now, if I’m quick enough to get a “good” out, that will surely suffice. If only you were there, as it was getting quite comical.

 

I am getting better at making my hello’s count, and following up my “how are you’s” with more detailed questions should the opportunity arise, but lately, something else too has occurred. Whether people close to me, or not have opened up in small conversation about battles that they face, I so very easily follow up with a “I’m so sorry to hear that “so & so”, “I’ll be praying for you”. I’ll be praying for you. It sounds so nice, doesn’t it? It just has a charming ring to it. It’s endearing, sensitive, and most importantly, Christlike. Yet somehow I have realized in the coming and going of exchanges, that “I’ll be praying for you” has become much more like that quick walk by “I’m good thanks, you?” exchange I mentioned earlier. Furthermore, everyone’s doing it!

 

We are busy. Between e-mails, texts, phone-calls, meetings, coffee dates, social events, or just our day to day schedules, we do not lack the ability to communicate. Do we lack the ability to communicate properly, yes, but that’s a thought for another day. My point is that in the coming and going of our lives, we are quite good at quickly getting our point across and often making someone feel good. This is scary. Only because it lacks heart and meaning. The last thing people need is less heart and less meaning.

 

When recently grabbing coffee with a dear friend, she asked me “what can I be praying with you about?” It threw me off a bit, and I didn’t even know how to respond! How selfish would I be to tell her what I’d like her to take time for me on. Pray for me? It’s not a foreign concept to me in the least, but I just realized how unfamiliar I was with a person whose heart was so genuine, and so quick to respond in prayer. How refreshing it was!

 

The Bible goes on heavily with prayer, quite overwhelmingly so. 1 Timothy 2:1 reads “Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men”. Ecclesiastes chapter four goes on about the strength of two instead of one. Lastly, Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 3:1 “Finally, brothers, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be honored, as happened among you,”. Isn’t that amazing? Knowing that added prayer pleases God’s heart, and too can affect us!

I don’t have too much more to add to this. I surely have been edified in recently praying for some people close to me. Taking the time for this has built me up, and I’m trusting that the Lord too has met these certain people right where they’re at. A prayer doesn’t always need to be on your knees just before bedtime. For me it’s usually while I’m driving, waiting in a long line, or doing the dishes. Take heart! God will give you the time for things He’s called us to do, just ask Him!

 

H

Benevolence

Every now and again, a very random word will come to me. I can’t tell you where it came from, or how long ago I had learned of it, and very rarely do I recall its definition. However it ended up floating across my thoughts, I immediately like to look it up- words for me are just funny like that. 

 

Benevolence: is an act of kindness or an inclination to be kind. It’s the quality of someone who volunteers in a soup kitchen, tutors children for free, and helps old ladies cross the street. (vocabulary.com)

 

I’m not sure a better definition could be had, there are no “ifs and buts” when such good examples are given. It got my mind going, the inner threading’s of my heart tightening just a bit. Love does that. Love tightens your heart strings, love is had in benevolence! Some days it is easy for me to “help old ladies across the street”, or “tutor kids for free”. Other days, it’s like pulling teeth for me to be kind to people who may be inconveniencing my routine. Oh how I am learning to detach from routine!!

 

When I picture Jesus walking the Earth, I don’t picture Him looking down at his iPhone’s calendar (kind of fun to think about though), seeing where he has to be next, and how much time he had between places. He seemed to always know how to use His time, and be present on His journey to wherever He was going! We don’t always have the opportunity or chance to dance along our days and eagerly help everyone that comes across our path. It’s just slowing down enough to know when someone has crossed before you for “such a time as this”, and being benevolent in even the smallest of ways.

 

Simone Weil said it well when saying; “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity”. How beautiful it is to give someone attention, and help them if only for a moment. I am sure we all have it in us to be benevolent, a vessel full with enough small acts of kindness to help impact our workplace, our kid’s soccer fields, and too our homes, just to name a few. I believe benevolent actions can be tied tightly to what Christ’s love looks like. Christ followers don’t need to scream out Christs’ love to the lost, but rather learn how to take small steps in connecting, helping, and building relationships.

 

Proverbs 11:25 “The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered”. 

Whipping Cream

A few years ago, my desire to travel abroad took on a whole new meaning the moment my dad said “you don’t really want to do that”. I was angry, and took it as a challenge, even if some part of me was reserved on the idea, I wouldn’t let him know it.

Was he right? In some aspects, sure. He could smell my thoughts and concerns about what it would mean. Spending a few months away from home would mean little contact with family and friends, and loss of all things routine. I loved routine, and more importantly I loved my family and friends (don’t we all?) . Leaving would mean that it would be just me, on my own, with ownership of all decisions and consequences, and then too, ambition.

So, about four months after proclaiming my desires, I boarded a plane and then another, and then my third while departing from the Los Angeles airport one late fall day in 2011. Some nearly fifteen hours later in the wee hours of the morning, Sydney Australia and I became acquainted with each other, and I would call this place home for 6 mo. Oh how beautiful she was in all of her glory.

In being that I had nannied for years back home, being an au pair in such a wonderful country seemed like a brilliant idea, as a host family would sort of “adopt” me for a time. I had my own room and a family to come home to (and three little ones to care for). It distracted me well from all the things I would miss.

One day in December, the grandparents of the children I au-paired for invited the whole family out for a boating excursion. Their condo was pushed up against the ocean front, and their boat access easy. A good friend I had made came along for the trip, and quite honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day. The sun was hot, and the Sydney harbor was breath-taking. I enjoyed the children’s grandparents a great deal, as they reminded me of my own. They had brought all the fixings for a perfect meal, and much of our group fished, while a few of us prepared lunch.

Cindy, as I will call the children’s grandmother, had declared after our meal, that it would be time for dessert. Fresh strawberries on sponge cake, with fresh whipping cream. As the mixer had been forgotten, she passed me a cold metal bowl full of heavy cream, and a whisk, and told me to get to it quickly. I encourage using your imagination as their accents are quite wonderful!

I had never hand whipped cream before, but she let me know that in order for it to “whip”, I had to whip quickly, making sure to get the “air into it”. Thirty minutes later, with little wrist strength left and now a warm bowl and flat cream I decided how thankful I would forever be for store bought whipped cream.

Now a few years later, when thinking of all the valleys, mountain tops, and muddy trenches I’ve felt myself come against since that time, I have come to think of that hot Sydney day on a boat in the harbor. You see, life is kind of like hand whipping, whipping cream. All you need is a few key things and a whole lot of efficient movement and effort at just the right time. Exhaustion, or “Sore wrists” just come with the territory sometimes, but the outcome is delicious… or at least well worth it.

“Don’t despise small begins, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” (Para, Zachariah 4:10 MSG).

De-fer-ment

de-fer-ment: the action or fact of putting something off to a later time; postponement.

This is not an uncommon word. We defer things all the time. Recently looking at my school loan, I saw the “deferment” option. Oh how tempting to put it off for just a while- to come back to it later when it’s a bit easier! I could instead use the money to travel… maybe get a new car… or simply just buy the more expensive coffee at the grocery store.

We defer things daily- through procrastination or by simply being indecisive. Defer just has an awful sound to it. Its list of synonyms aren’t any better (adjourn, delay, extend, hold up, postpone, set aside, stall…).

Lately though, I’ve deferred something that without- there is great consequence.

I have deferred hope. “Hope deferred”. Picture that in big red letters across the titled document called “Your life”.

Well if that doesn’t sound depressing enough (I picture Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh whimpering along), I’m not sure what does. The last few months have squeezed by heart in ways I didn’t think I could at times bear. Tears of anger, frustration, sadness and despair were prevalent…and often all at the same time. Oh the roller coaster of life!

Lately I have been stuck. And in my being stuck it is with despair that I have cried out to the Lord (Why am I sometimes so emotional- I just need to toughen up!) Yet it is funny the ways in which the Lord has reached my heart. With little words, or with a song in my head upon first waking up. Scriptures were beginning to pour into my heart (ones I hadn’t realized I remembered), and they were all ones with “hope” as their subject noun. Incredible isn’t it? Don’t defer hope. Whatever you do. Claim it as yours, and thank God for supplying the resources He knows you need on this journey called life. Seek peace, and be courageous, for He has overcome the world (John 16:33).

Proverbs 13:12 reads this: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life”.